On Yeses & Nos
We were running out the door with dinner in hand, rushing to the next thing, when I told William the latest about my new website launch for Cecelia Reilly Coaching. He listened for a bit and then said, "What about Cecelia Reilly Writing though?" Ugh, knife to my heart. Sweet readers, I have missed you, but I must confess, I have gotten distracted by life's demands and have said "no" to this website for a bit.
Cecelia Reilly Coaching, Cecelia Reilly Children's Minister, Cecelia Reilly Wife, Cecelia Reilly Intentional Liver, Cecelia Reilly....have taken a lot of room lately. I'm not complaining about being busy, rather, I love that our lives & house are overflowing lately. But sometimes in the fullness, we have to put things aside to say "yes" to things that also matter & glorify God. If it makes you feel better, I've said no to laundry & cooking lately too, ha!
Typically with every season, I sit down and create a list of "Yes's" and "No's" as I anticipate what the most important things approaching will be. There are some demands in life we cannot change, but there are some we have control over and we can intentionally choose how to tackle them. Being totally honest, I forgot to do this for the summer, not anticipating how the change of weather & pace of life effects our every day, and have felt outta wack until William mentioned you!
In a similar way to a business needing a specific focus, we need clear vision for our time, energy, and lives. Think about it, we are only given so much time in a day, week, year, lifetime. We typically have goals we desire to meet or values we desire to embrace, but often life’s demands get in the way if we do not have a clear mission.
Let me introduce you to my “Yes and No List.” It’s simple really, every season or so I sit down with my list and say, “In my life right now, what do I want to say yes to? And what are things I need to say no to?”
Yes should be something that challenges you, fills you, glorifies God, or something that you desperately need. Sometimes yes's are necessary and sometimes they are just fun!
No’s should be things you don’t have to spend your time on. No’s always have alternatives (buying bagged salad instead of chopping up ingredients). “No’s” do not have to be bad or guilt ridden. It’s simply your way of saying, "While that matters to me right now, saying 'yes' to that means I cannot say yes to something I have already given my word to or something I really need to focus on now."
The Break Down:
1. List Your Projects
Projects are anything you have to or want to tackle. Yes, family & work fall under "projects."
Projects this Season:
-Improving programs & building relationships at work.
-Being a newlywed
-Renovating the purple house and investing in the neighborhood
-Launching coaching business
-Writing for Cecelia Reilly Website
-Reinvesting in relationship with Christ
-Investing in current friendships and community group
-Taking care of my body and finding a healthy lifestyle
2. List your Yes
What Yes's do those projects demand? What do you have room for this season? What are you willing to make room for this season?
Say YES this Season:
-Yes to making and sticking to schedules: work, car, side hustles, housing projects, meal plans
-Yes to setting weekly goals (I’ll write more about this soon!)
-Yes to working from home and putting in overtime
-Yes to living in the mess (house and otherwise)
-Yes to budgeting and investing
-Yes to open tables and open discussions
-Yes to exercise and raw veggies
-Yes to personal space & quiet time
-Yes to asking for help, for more time, or for more grace
-Yes to writing at least 10 minutes daily
-Yes to listening to sermons on daily commute
-Yes to quality time with friends & William
-Yes to sustainability: chickens, garden, composting
3. List Your No's
Often this list helps reign in & narrow down what's listed above. Example: YES to making time for friends, but NO to spending more than 3 nights out a week with people.
Say NO this Season:
-No to any new projects, activity, or idea (this includes a puppy, future self)
-No to people pleasing and striving to meet expectations
-No to overeating and sedentary days
-No to more than 3 nights “out” a week (friends, meetings, dates, kids programs, etc)
-No to over scheduled weekends (repeat after me, you're an introvert & need down time)
-No to second guessing. I don’t have time for it & it’s a lie.
-No to starting a new TV series or binging Netflix (there’s better ways to unwind and self care)
-No to opening the door after 9pm
-No to the pressure to wear make up & wear hair down (work that up-do!)
-No to full course meal & house clean when guests come over
Although I have been a little off track without updating this list for summer time, I do believe our lives have been full of saying YES to things that matter. When I scroll through the pictures on my phone, I find that my lists of YES's & NO's has been more deeply ingrained than I thought. So yes, I'm spending a Saturday morning updating the blog I have let slide, but the love, the confidence, the ministries, the garden, the business, the openness I wanted to grow during this season, it's all there.
“I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I’m more afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.”
