Vanessa Lumby, Guest Writer

There is a great line from Parks and Recreation, one of my favorite TV shows. It goes like this: “Those kids are passionate about something. That’s important. That’s all there is, really, is passion. Passion is what makes for good treatises, good relationships, good pizza, good friends. Good everything. Including wars.”

At first, I loved this quote because it’s so true. All good things are rooted in passion, and passion makes things good.

The more I thought about this quote, the more I liked it for the last part about wars.

If you think about war, you realize that so much loss, sadness, strain, stress, and pain boils down to one outcome. You either went through the darkness of war and you won, or you survived hell and you lost.

Every person going into a fight knows this reality. One side wins and one side loses. Yet we continue to agree to these uncertain outcomes. Why?

It’s easy to see the lesson from the side of the winner. Sometimes you fight for something and it pays off. That’s why we fight, for the chance that it pays off.

But where does that leave the loser of the fight? It leaves them with nothing but tremendous loss and failure, right?

Perhaps there is more wisdom to be drawn from a lost fight than first meets the eye.

Losing a fight brings clarity to life.

When we lose a fight, it’s a sobering reality check that the fight is hard, even excruciating at times. So what we fight for needs to be worth it.

It’s a reminder that not everything in life is important. Not every relationship is worth fighting for. Not every idea of who you are is worth sacrificing to hang onto. Not every job is worth strain, stress, and unhappiness.

But, oh, the ones that are. The relationships worth fighting to keep alive and healthy. The essential parts of ourselves that are worth sacrificing for. The jobs that are tough, but rewarding. Those are the battles worth fighting.

You’re guaranteed a battle to keep the things that matter.

I know you’re going through a battle right now. I am, too.

Sometimes I’m so tired of fighting. I’m disheartened by the seemingly endless fight.

There are moments of weakness where I wonder, “Is this worth it? Is this thing I’m fighting for essential to me? If I give up, will I regret it for the rest of my life?”

Sometimes the answer is no.

Sometimes a fight is costing too much or it’s not one of the few things I’m passionate about. Sometimes it’s hurting something more important to me.

If so, I lay down my weapons triumphantly. I surrender to a fight that’s not worth my warrior spirit so I can fight for what truly is.

Those things I care about, they deserve everything - my passion, time, courage, and energy.

I want to aim all of this toward what is essential because my resources are limited. Yours are too. Which is why it’s so important to use them to their full capacity on the things that truly matter.

My point is this:

Figure out what’s worth fighting for and give it your all.Then, if you find that what you’re fighting for is not essential, let it go, because your essential people, places, things, ideas, and beliefs deserve your best. They are worth fighting for, even with the chance you might lose.

So I’ll ask you again.

What are you fighting for, and is it worth it?

Take some time to reflect on this and then to develop a plan to course-correct if what you’re fighting for isn’t what needs the best of you right now.

You don’t have to do this alone. Pray about it. Read your Bible for insight. Reach out to friends and family or work it out with a professional, like Cecelia, through life coaching.

You and your warrior spirit know what to do. So go do it. Your time is now.

Vanessa Lumby finds life through words - the ones she writes, the ones she reads, and the ones spoken among friends and family. She loves health and fitness, but would never give up chocolate cake, french fries, or lazy days on the couch. She writes at vanessalumby.blogspot.com and is the Director of Design at CashCowCouple.com, a personal finance website she runs with her husband.