On Giving Up on the Church
I’ve been pretty sick of the Church lately. You know the one--the Big C church, the one that is always making the news, the one from which Babylon Bee humorously makes its profits.
The Church universal is messy, and arguably has been since its creation. But of late, I’m becoming more and more frustrated with her. My list of grievances is long. Starting with the fake smiles, the horrendous worship songs we call music (looking at you, Chris Rice) or stretches we take to make the Gospel relevant to pop culture, as if Jesus needs our help to be relevant. On my list, there are specific names, and hurtful instances, and the literal door that was closed in my face because I dared to be a woman in ministry. The words that cannot be unspoken, the hurt I found in a place called sanctuary. Those are nothing compared to the betrayals and bad theology and hypocrisy and shameful abuse and each time someone has been told they do not belong within her doors. The killings, violence, and injustice done in her name. The racial and political lines drawn outside her doors.
It is easy to find the ways the Church does not look like Christ. More than ever, at least in my experience, the Bride of Christ feels divided beyond repair and I have seen the faithful walking away. Beautiful souls who drastically impacted my own faith story have simply changed their hearts and handed back in their WWJD bracelets because they feel betrayed by the Church. To be honest, I get it. I don’t love it, but I understand the frustration of feeling as though the Church has turned her back on her first true love.
And yet, today, on this Holy Thursday, we are gathering with our broken, dysfunctional family one more time to read the story of the Last Supper. If you are not familiar with the story, Jesus has come to Jerusalem to celebrate a Passover Festival, something Jews have been honoring since the very beginning of the book. The Passover commemorates the time where the Spirit of the Lord “passed over” the houses of the faithful Jewish community who marked their doorposts with lamb’s blood, while the houses without lost their first born son. Fast forward to Jesus gathering with his 12 disciples, his 12 most devoted followers and friends, for the ceremonial Passover meal. Being fully human and also fully God’s first (and only) holy son, Jesus knows that it is almost time for him to become the literal passover lamb--to innocently die as a sacrifice for all humankind. He’s freaked, naturally, but also knows that his death is the ultimate rescue, so he is more than willing to go along with God’s plan. It is in these final moments, this final meal, with his disciples that he puts authentic love on display. He kneels down to wash the disciples nasty feet, showing them that true love is submitting your authority & power for another. Then he willingly eats with his friend who has sold him for 30 pieces of silver. He eats with those who will turn their backs, with those who are not even willing to stay awake and pray on his behalf, and with the most devoted one who will betray him 3 times before the next morning.
Jesus shows us that the Lord is lovingly & sincerely devoted even to the least faithful.
Oh, and how desperately does the Church, do we, need this reminder? Like Bob Goff says, “If I had one last meal, I wouldn’t spend it with a person I knew would betray me.”
Fully aware of their blemished, unfaithful hearts, Jesus willingly washed the feet of his disciples and equips them to start the very first Church--the same Church we are so tempted to give up on; the same Church that we are. When we hear the Word tonight, let us be ever mindful that we are the very ones in need of our feet being washed. We are the ones dipping our bread in the cup with him. We are the Church and with it, we are the hypocrites, the abusers, the unjust judges, the betrayers.We are why the bloodshed was necessary. We are proving that we are the very ones turning our back on Christ when we are too weary and weak to spend the night in prayer and we walk away from His Church.
The good news, if we’re allowing ourselves to jump ahead in the story, is that we are all the Redeemed. There is room for each one of us at the Lord’s table and in His Church. There is room for the sinner, for the ones who misrepresent Christ, for the hypocrite, for the unfaithful, and for the ones who “voted for the devil” (whomever that may be.) There is not just room, there is a role of reconciliation & repentance & redemption for each of us to fill.
Furthermore, our hope is not found in the Church, it is found in her Savior--the One who was devestatingly betrayed and yet, never lost sight of her true purpose.
So I’ll ask the question, if tonight was your last supper on Earth, who would you make a plate for? With Easter brunch, a celebration of renewed life and forgiveness just 3 days away--you have plenty of time to grab more chairs and extend more invitations.