This is part 7 in a longer series of how we are taking 7 months to assess our lifestyles & try to be more intentional with our time and resources. If you are just joining us, you can start your binge here and this will all make more sense. Also, just a reminder, we started on the 5th of May, so each new experiment will coincide with the 5th of the month. 

Well, the original plan to post weekly about our 7 experiment has clearly been altered. I know, I know, I’m months behind. I have my reasons though. I will be the first to say, the following was written in October and is not my best writing piece. I honestly am still digesting each moment. It is so easy to look back on past seasons and see how they changed us, but with this so fresh, I am still processing. Thank you for your grace as I continue to vulnerably share my stories of failures and celebrations.

July.

July was the month where we focused on prayer: specifically getting rid of our burdens & placing them on Jesus. We texted the people we loved, asked how we could pray for them for the month, and wrote down a list of our own petitions. The plan was that we were to pray 5 times a day, every day, for the month. Quite honestly, my personal faith was really struggling during this month, so while praying frequently was a good outlet for me to express myself to God, I wasn’t sure how to write about it in this online space. My relationship with God felt very raw, very vulnerable and I wanted to reserve sharing it to my people, not the world. That being said, July stretched me and I will comment on the following observations:

1. It is tender when you ask the ones you love how to pray for them, and to make the choice to follow up with them on how God was moving. Intercessory prayer, in my opinion, is one of the most underutilized gifts of our holy community.

2. Secondly, it is a humbling honor to “take the night watch” for a friend who is losing sleep & wrestling in their petitioning to God. To be welcomed into another’s pain and to be trusted when you say, “Sleep soundly tonight because I will spend it interceding on your behalf.” Goodness, it brings tears to my eyes--what a privilege it is to share one another’s burdens in such deep, deep love.  I hope I never take for granted friends who are willing to share & express the burdens of their heart because they know you will honor them, what courageous souls.

August.

One of William’s biggest pet peeves of me is that I am constantly starting new projects (like this experiment!) It’ll be an unscheduled Friday, and I’ll wake up with a to-do list a mile long & unrealistic expectations for our weekend. Look, I know that Jesus emphasized how important it is to rest & that’s why God gave us the Sabbath, but we all have weaknesses and mine is that I can’t sit still. If we dared to unpack my restlessness a little more, and I guess you could say the larger problem is: contentment. As in, I don’t have any. So for the month of August, we agreed to honor the Sabbath every Friday (we both work Sunday-Thursdays). We agreed this could mean whatever we wanted, the key was that we were getting rid of excess projects, focusing on finding contentment in our days, and honoring God with our rest. Our very first Friday came and I already had scheduled it full of non-restful things. No judging me, I already admitted I had a problem. In his wisdom, the following Friday, William realized we needed to get out of the house if I was going to even pretend to rest. So we went on a fun adventure to a small town, hiked a bit, ate at a hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant, spent time talking & pondering, and listened to a podcast on the way home. Eventually, I started doing a little better and incorporated yoga into my weekly routine. The very first time was rough! It took a lot of humility for me to give up an hour at work and say, “I’m going to spend this hour focusing on centering myself because all aspects of my life will benefit if I do.” But I did it, and it was good! After all, the reason God asks us to rest is to better understand our limits as humans, to humble ourselves and remember we can trust that God is in control. August really stretched me and while we definitely did rest by the end of the month, the most impactful part was exposing how my heart still has work to do when it comes to Sabbath & contentment. (I do see the irony in that sentence. Just let me be.)

September

Oops. I desperately want to say we had the foresight into how full these next two months would be for us, and decide to pause the experiment. I would also love to say we plunged ahead and continued as we originally planned. Yet, both would be lies. In actuality, these 2 months were a blur and we did not even give the experiment a second thought. In September, I went to the hospital in extreme pain and was admitted for an emergency gallbladder surgery. The surgery was smooth, and our friends over did themselves taking care of us. I was at Emory for 5 days and took about 2 full weeks to recover from the anesthesia & pain. If I didn’t grasp the concept of rest in August, this was my chance! Before my surgery, I had so many grand plans for my recovery days: catch up on this website, put in hours for my life coaching business, attend the youth retreat & keep up with all work related things at home, learn a new language, and finish crocheting a baby blanket I started last October. Yet, post surgery, everything made me so nauseous, including all things computer/screen related, so I was stuck for most of my days laying on my back listening to podcasts & music, frustrated that I couldn’t be doing more. (I still don’t have a lot of nice things to say about rest, but I’m working on it.) Also, with this unexpected 5 day hospital stay and longer recovery at the very beginning of the semester, we found ourselves playing catch up with school and work for the rest of September and early October. It’s all a blur and I can’t be held responsible for ghosting on this experiment.

October.

October is always the most beautiful of months, but this year in particular was sacred. I still have not found the words to adequately express the change in my soul & faith. October was especially meaningful as I celebrated two of my dearest friends & their weddings. At the beginning of the month, one of my intentions was to be present for the celebrations, and my full heart now is a reminder that I really was.

The first celebration was a weekend away in St Augustine with my best friend and some of our dearest friends. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard or felt so beautiful & empowered. Good friends see your heart and love so deeply you begin to see & love yourself more. Then two weekends later, William and I flew to Santa Fe to marry our friends in one of the most gorgeous wedding venues overlooking the snow capped mountains. God’s goodness and kindness radiated over the entire weekend, and we came back full of love for each other & our holy Creator. Still processing God’s presence in this particular weekend, all I can promise is that I’m *hoping* to share this experience of God’s beauty with you in writing soon.

Another moment I’m still sorting out in my heart & mind was sandwiched between these two wondrous weekends. A key figure in my childhood & youth passed away. Her funeral was such a sacred, moving experience for me as I returned to my hometown, Aiken, with so many others who loved and mourned for her. The legacy she left was tangible in that space and I am having trouble expressing how inspirational and holy her memorial service was.

October has left me with a lot to contemplate, and more for which to be grateful. In many ways it feels like I have digested so many experiences and  new knowledge of God & humanity & myself, I am going to need space to sit, apply, and grow. This I know is true, in July & August, God’s presence felt so far away I was afraid I had made it up in the first place. And now, through actual physical pain, people in my life who are good deep, deep down to their bones, and encounters with beauty that immediately brought me to tears, God has never felt so near. It is a fresh perspective of who God is, for sure, & I’m here for it.